glimmerous_fop | Accidental Video

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a private moment with klavier

Accidental Video

[See Klavier...he's fast asleep on a long and broad red couch, he's probably so much cuter asleep than when he's awake. It looks to be the middle of the day, an unusual time for sleeping, but he is out cold and he's not the most interesting thing on the couch. No, peeking out from underneath Klavier's hand where it is very content and warm is this little creature and on the edge of the couch Vongole can be seen, his head resting on Klavier's arm and he's watching the creature very intently, whimpering softly]

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I can't see how unless you find sleeping people entertaining. [Klavier finally manages to scoop it out from under his shirt. Reaching over the back of the couch he grabs a pullover hoodie and manages to wriggle into it before letting the little creature climb into one of the pockets.] So I guess something happened while I was sleeping that entertained you, huh?

Something happening sounds more likely than me bein' entertained by watchin' a high class lawyer sleep on a couch with a flying rat. If yer still tired, I can let'cha go back to that.

Hn...looks down at his pocket where there is a curled up lump] Oh...Viola...she's not a flying rat...she's a gliding marsupial...like...like...kangaroos...koalas...and opossums. So...what did happen?

Think I'd rather have flying rats than flying opossums. They're vicious little fuckers. Could've been a blood bath right there on on top of yer magic fingers. Which could've been more fun, now that I think about it...

Well fortunately this little girl isn't a opossum...she's a sugar glider and she's bonded to me so she won't bite me. I'd rather be nipped at by her than a rat.

Sugar glider? Sounds more like some kinda toy that should come with kid's candy. How many pets do you keep, anyway?

Well it makes sense, sugar gliders glide and they like sweet things.

Pets? For the time being I only have two, Vongole was my brother's retriever and Viola is a birthday gift.

Had a birthday recently? Yer 26 now?

Not exactly, she's an early gift, my birthday is still a week away.

[Greed makes a face, purses his lips, drums his fingers absently on the back of the couch... then promptly shrugs it all off.]

Guess that means you didn't party 'til you passed out on the couch, then.

Nein, last night was one of those regular working schmo things. It's the holiday season so I'm trying to shovel myself out from under as much work as possible before the end of the week. It's my gift to myself.

Holiday season? I think you're overshooting what a big deal your birthday is, Hot Shot.

I'm not overshooting, that's why I'm using the remainder of this week to finish my work for the rest of the year. I won't be accepting anymore cases either. That way I can focus on everything else, my birthday which is always a pretty big deal...and then there's Christmas, a challenge.

Calling your birthday a holiday is definitely overshooting it. So, what kinda challenge is Christmas?

Ah...my birthday isn't a holiday, it's not like I ever overdo it...since it is three days before Hanukkah.

Ah...well the Christmas challenge...I usually do some benefits for children hospitals...then there's trying to figure out what gifts to get people.

Really? You seem like the type to make a big deal out of yer birthday. You know, [Lavishly outstretched arms and dramatic motions] "How lucky the world is that I'm here to occupy it with my good looks! [Attempt to air guitar--it is clear he's never held a guitar in his life] My music! [Cups his chin and flashes his best photogenic smile] My hotness! [crosses his arms and nods sagely] Lucky old world!" [When he's finished mocking Klavier, Greed plops back against the couch, much less animated.] or something...

So, Christmas is some philanthropic image thing you do. And, what's Hanukkah?

Nah...birthdays stop being a big deal once you're legally able to drink. I like something simple and classy because I am an adult. [and he snorts a laugh because Greed's guitar posture is awful] Besides, the world is already lucky that I grace it on a daily basis. There's no need to celebrate it.

No, I do philanthropic work year round, It wouldn't be right to use one specific holiday or season to do something good, but it's also unfair that this time of year some people get so much while others get so little. Everything is always...amplified...around this time of year. People are more charitable, it makes it easier for me to motivate people. It's the organization that's the problem.

Hanukkah? Hn...it's like the Jewish Christmas...it's also called the Festival of Lights, they celebrate it for eight nights and it's starts at sunset on the 25th day of Kislev.

But you still bought yourself a present for another year of gracing the world... Worlds.

So you're doing a benefit thing around Christmas 'cause it gets more attention and it's good for your helping-people image. Which means Christmas ain't just a day for you, specifically, to be doin' charity things... and Hanukkah is a longer foreign Christmas. And, what's a Kislev?

You mean Viola? She was a gift from someone else.

I think...most people feel more charitable around Christmas...whether it's because they think all of their good deeds and good will to man count for more...I'm not sure. For some reason people feel more moved to do things for others so it should be a time of year for everyone to be doing charitable things.

Hanukkah isn't exactly a foreign Christmas, it's a Jewish Christmas and Jewish individuals live...all over the world. I think the bulk of the population are in America and in Israel. And Kislev is the ninth month on the Hebrew calendar: Nissan, Iyar, Sivan, Tammuz, Av, Elul, Tishri, Cheshvan, Kislev, Tevet, Shevat, Adar...and on a leap year you have Adar I and Adar Beit.

[Greed's face is that of one quite thoroughly confused and suffering information overload. Once he is finsihed, Greed decides Klavier is just making things overly complicated and yells to the peanut gallery at the bar behind the computer and camera.]

HEY! [The moderate background noise fades into complete silence.] Any of you guys heard of somethin' called Christmas or Hanukkah or Iyar, Kislev or Sivammuzvan or anything like that?

...

[After a few seconds with no response, he waves dismissively and the background noise kicks back up. Stuck with Klavier as his only source of information, he glares, positive he's trying to make this difficult. He doesn't intend to lose... whatever kind of competition this is.]

So. Christmas is a charity party that goes on for a couple of days. And on your world, it's not like a national border culture thing, but a race thing, and somehow people live by different calendars and shit in the same country, and it works out 'cause things like this basically overlap.

Well not exactly. Christmas is a holiday...not really a charity party...people just tend to be more charitable because it is a holiday that commemorates the birth of Jesus, who was allegedly selfless. So it's a religious holiday and people celebrate it in different ways. It's not really a race thing either...depending on how you define race. The people that generally celebrate Christmas are the ones who recognize the holiday, you don't have to be religious to celebrate it...but like...if your religious faith is Judaism you'd probably celebrate Hanukkah or if you're Muslim you'd celebrate Ashura around this time of year. The meaning of the holiday has changed over the years too.

But different cultures can exist in one place and still work together pretty well. Not always...in some places it's a little harder, but in a lot of places it's possible.

Sounds a little familiar. Probably heard someone else on here mention it somewhere. But everyone's got a "big generous giving to sick kids and poor people season" thing going on around that time, just with different names so it works out, I guess. Sounds kinda like a pain in the ass to keep track of, though, once you get outside of the "whose party do you go to?" thing. You say "We'll do it December first" and they'd have to figure out if that's Kishvalev fifteenth or something...

Well...I think that...even if you live in a mosaic where there are different kinds of cultures all going on at once...as long as you know who you are then knowing whose party you're going to is as natural as breathing air. It's only confusing if you've never been invited to the party. In my world there's got to be hundreds of holidays...as long as you know who you are you know what to celebrate.

Can't someone just go to all of 'em? If it's about being all philanthropic and into the good will towards man thing and civil and you-like, it'd be weird to kick up any shit about who's where. Also don't sound like my kinda holidays at all, but that's not the point. And for the record, I get invited to lots of parties, so it's just confusing for me 'cause of how you're putting it.

Speaking of knowing what to celebrate... you expecting anything for yer birthday from me?

You could go to all of them, but some religious people can sometimes be fanatical about their religion. You know how some parties are invite only? Since Christmas in nominally universal it's more like...an open party. And you're confused because we're talking about this in terms of parties which is really a holiday...but that's not to say you can't make a party of it. It's not all charity, I'm sure there are aspects of Christmas you'd enjoy very much like eggnog and presents.

There's a German Christmas legend that on Christmas eve rivers turn to wine, animals speak to each other, trees blossom and bear fruit, mountains open up and spill out precious gems and church bells can be heard from the bottom of the sea. It's a magic that only the pure of heart can witness. Everyone else has to celebrate the normal German way, which is good too because we start our celebrating on St. Nicholas day. We place shoes by the fire place so St. Nick can fill them with treats or twigs if we've been naughty. We have the Thomas Donkey which is very funny...there's feasts and decorations. It's a crazy time where I come from.

Are you expecting me to expect something from you for my birthday? If you wanted to get me something I wouldn't say no, it's all part of the surprise, but I'm not expecting it.

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