glimmerous_fop | Accidental Video

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a private moment with klavier

Accidental Video

[See Klavier...he's fast asleep on a long and broad red couch, he's probably so much cuter asleep than when he's awake. It looks to be the middle of the day, an unusual time for sleeping, but he is out cold and he's not the most interesting thing on the couch. No, peeking out from underneath Klavier's hand where it is very content and warm is this little creature and on the edge of the couch Vongole can be seen, his head resting on Klavier's arm and he's watching the creature very intently, whimpering softly]

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But you still bought yourself a present for another year of gracing the world... Worlds.

So you're doing a benefit thing around Christmas 'cause it gets more attention and it's good for your helping-people image. Which means Christmas ain't just a day for you, specifically, to be doin' charity things... and Hanukkah is a longer foreign Christmas. And, what's a Kislev?

You mean Viola? She was a gift from someone else.

I think...most people feel more charitable around Christmas...whether it's because they think all of their good deeds and good will to man count for more...I'm not sure. For some reason people feel more moved to do things for others so it should be a time of year for everyone to be doing charitable things.

Hanukkah isn't exactly a foreign Christmas, it's a Jewish Christmas and Jewish individuals live...all over the world. I think the bulk of the population are in America and in Israel. And Kislev is the ninth month on the Hebrew calendar: Nissan, Iyar, Sivan, Tammuz, Av, Elul, Tishri, Cheshvan, Kislev, Tevet, Shevat, Adar...and on a leap year you have Adar I and Adar Beit.

[Greed's face is that of one quite thoroughly confused and suffering information overload. Once he is finsihed, Greed decides Klavier is just making things overly complicated and yells to the peanut gallery at the bar behind the computer and camera.]

HEY! [The moderate background noise fades into complete silence.] Any of you guys heard of somethin' called Christmas or Hanukkah or Iyar, Kislev or Sivammuzvan or anything like that?

...

[After a few seconds with no response, he waves dismissively and the background noise kicks back up. Stuck with Klavier as his only source of information, he glares, positive he's trying to make this difficult. He doesn't intend to lose... whatever kind of competition this is.]

So. Christmas is a charity party that goes on for a couple of days. And on your world, it's not like a national border culture thing, but a race thing, and somehow people live by different calendars and shit in the same country, and it works out 'cause things like this basically overlap.

Well not exactly. Christmas is a holiday...not really a charity party...people just tend to be more charitable because it is a holiday that commemorates the birth of Jesus, who was allegedly selfless. So it's a religious holiday and people celebrate it in different ways. It's not really a race thing either...depending on how you define race. The people that generally celebrate Christmas are the ones who recognize the holiday, you don't have to be religious to celebrate it...but like...if your religious faith is Judaism you'd probably celebrate Hanukkah or if you're Muslim you'd celebrate Ashura around this time of year. The meaning of the holiday has changed over the years too.

But different cultures can exist in one place and still work together pretty well. Not always...in some places it's a little harder, but in a lot of places it's possible.

Sounds a little familiar. Probably heard someone else on here mention it somewhere. But everyone's got a "big generous giving to sick kids and poor people season" thing going on around that time, just with different names so it works out, I guess. Sounds kinda like a pain in the ass to keep track of, though, once you get outside of the "whose party do you go to?" thing. You say "We'll do it December first" and they'd have to figure out if that's Kishvalev fifteenth or something...

Well...I think that...even if you live in a mosaic where there are different kinds of cultures all going on at once...as long as you know who you are then knowing whose party you're going to is as natural as breathing air. It's only confusing if you've never been invited to the party. In my world there's got to be hundreds of holidays...as long as you know who you are you know what to celebrate.

Can't someone just go to all of 'em? If it's about being all philanthropic and into the good will towards man thing and civil and you-like, it'd be weird to kick up any shit about who's where. Also don't sound like my kinda holidays at all, but that's not the point. And for the record, I get invited to lots of parties, so it's just confusing for me 'cause of how you're putting it.

Speaking of knowing what to celebrate... you expecting anything for yer birthday from me?

You could go to all of them, but some religious people can sometimes be fanatical about their religion. You know how some parties are invite only? Since Christmas in nominally universal it's more like...an open party. And you're confused because we're talking about this in terms of parties which is really a holiday...but that's not to say you can't make a party of it. It's not all charity, I'm sure there are aspects of Christmas you'd enjoy very much like eggnog and presents.

There's a German Christmas legend that on Christmas eve rivers turn to wine, animals speak to each other, trees blossom and bear fruit, mountains open up and spill out precious gems and church bells can be heard from the bottom of the sea. It's a magic that only the pure of heart can witness. Everyone else has to celebrate the normal German way, which is good too because we start our celebrating on St. Nicholas day. We place shoes by the fire place so St. Nick can fill them with treats or twigs if we've been naughty. We have the Thomas Donkey which is very funny...there's feasts and decorations. It's a crazy time where I come from.

Are you expecting me to expect something from you for my birthday? If you wanted to get me something I wouldn't say no, it's all part of the surprise, but I'm not expecting it.

I think I'm ruled out for the mountain of gems and talking animals part, unless one of those parties has enough wine to rival those pure hearted wino rivers and that eggnog's spiked to high hell. But, let's see if I'm getting this Christmas thing right this time: it's basically a big flashy day where you give stuff to poor people and sick kids, while getting so drunk you eat out of your shoes? [As Greed is smirking rather than looking particularly confused or writing it all off as weird, it's a safe bet he has a better idea of it than that.]

Wasn't sure what to expect you to expect. S'why I asked.

That's just a story. As for the Christmas thing...you and your soup questions...you're pestering me now. Christmas isn't something that's categorized. People celebrate it differently, do different things...some things are similar...like Der Weihnachtsmann, Christmas dinners, decorations, presents. Though what we eat and how we decorate is different these fundamental things are similar.

No worries, I'm not expecting anything, but if I were what would you give me?

"Soup questions"...? But, yeah. I'm pestering you. I'll let'cha get back to work in a minute here.

You think I'd give you somethin' just 'cause you're expecting it?

Questions that don't have simple answers are soup questions, not that I mind complex questions as long as there's one absolute answer. Ah...well I'm taking a break so it's fine.

But I'm not expecting it, I'm just curious.

Careful, it's gonna start soundin' like you like puttin' up with me. So much for tellin' ya I'm lettin' you get back to work as a present 'n that you can count the extra time to enjoy this Christmas-holiday thing as my gift to you.

If I was even thinkin' of gettin' you anything, you'd say it's the thought that counts and that it's like you got somethin' outtah me anyway.

I haven't had any coffee yet. But that's my present huh, I appreciate it and it's the thought that counts.

Anyway, since we're only supposing I guess we'll never know what I was expecting.

If you wanna put it like that, I thought a whole lot about getting you nothing. In a way that's more offensive than just getting you nothing the normal way.

And if you were expecting something, you're a dumbass.

If you're trying to offend me it won't work, I have Viola so I'm content.

It's fortunate for me that I'm not a dumbass.

Good. 'Cause it's pretty short notice. Money's not a thing to you. You know what all you already got. You know more about the stuff you're into. There's not really anything good I could get you that you wouldn't have already got yourself if you wanted it. And I wouldn't really know where to send anything or how to get it to you. Which is basically a good thing, I mean, it's kept me from coming to kick your ass before...

Well there's always the fun, immaterial, and inexpensive gift. If you were thinking about it.

Fn. If I was thinking about it, that'd be the one present where the thought alone wouldn't count. Just the thought'd about the meanest thing I could give you.

Then I'd have to ask you exactly what you were thinking about.

Didn't I answer that one already? Nothing.

Well, I already knew that.

'cause yer not a dumbass.

Naturally, but just in case you were thinking about it and thinking something odd that would make you think about the meanest thing you could give me then I might have been thinking about something more artistic and less what you were thinking I was thinking. Since we're still supposing.

But that's impossible even if we're just bein' hypothetical. Unless you're supposing you're a dumbass on two counts, when I'm over here not-so-hypothetically callin' you not a dumbass on two counts. Then we'd cancel out and end up supposing yer not a dumbass, but not too sharp either. I might be able to think about you makin' one stupid slip here and there but I'm too simple to imagine somethin' as complex as you bein' dull or even just average for too long.

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