(no subject)

[glimmerous_fop]

[When the video starts three attractive women, or what looks to be women, appear on the screen. Anyone who has ever met Klavier would recognize him instantly in spite of his very convincing feminine guise. Klavier is sitting behind the wheel of a stilled, topless, old-fashioned Cadillac trying to start the engine.]



[The engine doesn't start. So he tries again.]

[When the engine fails to start again one of his companions, standing on the outside of the car, looks over at him in disbelief.] Oh, no. It isn't? Uh-uh.

Almost. [Klavier looks frustrated yet composed and the voice that comes out of him is very light, as feminine as his appearance, and practiced] Pl-Please.

[A second companion cuts in sounding panicked] Now we're stuck here forever. I knew it.

See [The first companion leans into the car addressing Klavier] right now I could be in a comfortable, climate-controlled environment, on a transcontinental airline, enjoying my individual, package of peanuts, and my little complimentary warm towel, if it wasn't for what, what! The little…rent-a-tart! [snaps her fingers at the second companion]

I didn't ask to come on this trip, did I? [She rounds on the offending woman] No, I don't think so. Did I ask you to be makin' me over and jump all kinds of hoops like some circus poodle? No, I don't think so. Do I want to go to jail because of some cop-killer? [At this point there is a close-up of Klavier, being addressed as the cop-killer, and looking astounded] No, I don't think so. So as soon as we get to the next town, I'm jumping on the first man and I'm riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered-up, stuck-up putas, 'cause this trip sucks! It sucks!

[Klavier turns around in his seat looking almost like a parent giving a child a lecture] After all we have done to include you, you would leave us so quickly?

Like that. [Snaps her fingers]

[Klavier steps out of the car, one hand on his hip and the other on the car door. The viewer can now see the full extent of his get up, a lilac colored cocktail dress with matching shoes and the legs to go with it surprisingly enough] All right. Well, since you have learned absolutely nothing, I am hereby stripping you of all your princess points. [Klavier does a series of hand gestures reminiscent of ripping a piece of paper to shreds and throwing them up in the air like so much confetti]

Ooh, that's voodoo. Let's go.

--You can't do that!

I think that Noxie I decided to take pity on this poor little boy in drag...

[Just then Klavier is interrupted by said Noxie] Excuse me? Excuse me?

And bring her along...

"Noxie and l"? Did I hear "Noxie and l"? Uh-uh, uh-h! No, no, no, no. "Noxie and l" didn't decide anything. Noxie got dragged into this by you!

[Klavier now turns to address Noxie instead of his other companion] Oh, and what about the two of you leaving poor Miss Vida [The viewer may not know who “Miss Vida” is but judging by the way Klavier is pointing at himself they could only assume that the stunning blond/Klavier is this “Miss Vida”] at...at...at...the hands of this...this possibly dead Sheriff Dullard? And you stayed stuck in this car like Mary Jo Kopechne!

Huh-uh.

[Gasps]

[Looking very put out he slips back behind the steering wheel and slams the door, ignore both of his companions in order to talk to what appears to be a picture frame] Oh, dear and oft-thanked Wong Foo, it's not that I'm asking for help. I am not that presumptuous. But if something... anything--

[Noxie rejoins Klavier in the car and Klavier makes another go at trying to start the engine.]

Maybe if somebody gave me back my princess points, I would do the hitchhiking thing and get us a ride.

[The sound of the starter cranking can be heard]

How you gonna hitchhike, huh, if there are no cars, stupid?

You don't know me very well, Creepela. I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe. I got more legs than a bucket of chicken. [Walks off muttering insults in spanish]

[The engine fails again.]

[Looking frustrated Klavier places his fingers to his temple, it appears as though he‘s temporarily given up on the Cadillac] She's going to get herself kidnapped by some mountain man, and we will have to rescue her.

Why's she always gotta have the last word, huh?




((ooc: Klavier/Man In Drag 1/Man In Drag 2. And as a reference Klavier is reenacting this scene from To Wong Foo. This is his response to being in a creative slump, but characters are free to interpret it literally or any other way they'd like.))

Comments

[material_guy]

And there was a time when people didn't wipe their ass or brush their teeth, too. There's acting for a living, and then there's you. You just like this kinda thing. It's weird 'cause of how you do it, too. There's your weirdness and then there's what's kinda weird about this and it compounds all into one big super weird chunk of you.

Nothin'. I think an alchemist might owe me somethin' small, but I don't need any little shit done, and if you don't need that fixed, I'll just play Nice Guy after all 'n let it go.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...well I figure acting is entirely different from hygiene. I am acting for a living though, this is work. This is a new challenge and that's the kind of thing I like. I get a whole new skill set by taking this opportunity.

Mm? Well he managed to fix it and string it, but the back is still a little uneven it could stand to be smoothed out.

[material_guy]

So we agree. You're weird. This is just the kinda thing you like: putting on dresses, doing your hair "pretty", doing the face painting thing, and flicking around "princess points". A weird guy with weird tastes and weird hobbies doing weird things with people who look normal next to him.

If it's not bad enough for you to make funny faces or sounds over, s'not worth any kinda world-and-a-half hopping to cash in on a favor too small for me to get any use out of myself.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

It’s just a role Herr, but I’m glad it’s convincing enough for you I guess. Of course I’m sure I’d be just as weird to you if the role was the exact opposite, one that required me to put on plenty of extra mass and grow a beard. Or would that just be detrimental?

Ach…well you seemed a little disappointed, maybe I was mistaken, the next time something upsetting happens I’ll be sure to come to you.

[material_guy]

Naw. It'd be a waste, but it wouldn't be weird if you had to ugly up a little for a role. Well, weird for you, you love being pretty, but weird for you would be acting normal for anyone else, 'cause yer just that weird, so that doesn't count. Since you make a good looking girl, that's part of what's weird and messed up about this, for you and just all around.

That's right. I wanna enjoy your misery.

[locked]

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

You know...I think I should go ahead and accept the fact that you think I'm weird no matter what I do. In fact I should take it as a compliment, because normal is boring when it comes right down to it.

You're a sick man.

[material_guy]

Oi, I didn't say weird was always bad. Sometimes yer even good-weird, but there's not really a separate word for that. If it's really, really bad, 'weird' goes to 'fucked up', which is weird that's definitely bad. I don't usually call you fucked up. Yer just weird, most of the time. If anything you did was "weird" but not really weird for any reason other than bein' you, than I'd say "you're so you" instead of "you're so weird."

You already knew that.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...well you never...but with you I figure you're trying to insult me most of the time. That's just the impression I get.

More incentive to keep my misery out of your hands.

[material_guy]

See? A guy with your ego assuming he's being insulted all the time? That's weird.

I did offer to help fix it if it was ever really bad.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

Well, it’s not exactly as if being called "weird" is a term of endearment and I never thought it was coming from you. I just figured you liked to call me weird to irritate me.

Yes, you did, and the offer was very generous of you so…thank you for that.

[material_guy]

I wouldn't go so far as callin' it a term of endearment and it definitely ain't good all the time. It's just an honest assessment. I'm a really honest guy, y'know.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

Exactly, and if it’s not a term of endearment then it’s hard to tell whether or not being weird is an insult since you’re the one who is saying that I’m weird…but now that you’ve explained it I won’t feel like I’m being insulted.

[material_guy]

Sometimes you are.

[herrglimmerous.livejournal.com]

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